Monday, August 7, 2017

Almost

You are almost the one I wish I had
The one I always hope I'll someday meet
And "almost" is enough to knock me on my ass
But not enough to sweep me off my feet.

I am almost the kind that makes you swoon
And makes the smallest pieces of you tingle
But "almost" will never set your mind and body free
No matter how many times we mingle.

You almost fulfill me in ways unknown
Since longer than I care to volunteer
But "almost" leaves me with a memory too sweet
To match the way I feel when you are near.

I am almost your goal, your pinnacle
Your ultimate, your final destiny
But "almost" will never yield the love you desire
Even if you always see the best in me.

We are almost a couple; two lovers
We are definitely a pair; two friends
And "almost" is enough to break our vacant hearts
"Definitely" sets them both on the mend.

We are almost filling each other's voids
Almost satisfying our wants and needs
Filling space until at least one of us finds more
Or better
Or gives up
"Almost," indeed.

New Neighbors

The house next door has gone from noisy to noisier
The rest of them have gone from nosy to nosier
And I'm still sitting on my front step
Slowly choking on my Scotch.

The house next door has gone from crowded to packed
The rest of them remain as full and as empty
And I'm still recalling when I used to beam
With pride to say I lived here.

The smells of cigarettes, tobacco and weed
And the restaurant you couldn't pay me to patronize
And the whole block's garbage in the summer heat
Don't stink as much as my life.

Freshly-mowed lawns soon to be overgrown
Freshly-washed clothes soon to be stained and sweaty
Freshly-cooked meals soon to lead to new hunger
Freshly-inspired me soon to lose motivation.

The house next door has changed from discord to dysfunction
The rest of them have changed from static to stagnant
Just like I'm still withering on my front step
Running out of Scotch to choke on.

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Hard Time Caring

I could let you know how I am
But part of me hopes you don't give a damn
For I'm so much happier without you here

I could ask you how you're doing
You might think my concern is moving
Never knowing that this time, it's insincere

When I care, I know you're touched
But when I care about you, I care too much
So tonight, I'm having a hard time caring.


We could meet at our favorite place
Which would normally put a smile on my face
But I'd rather catch up with a long-lost friend

You could take me to a show
Just tell me which one and I would go
But I'd rather be alone than see you again

On some level, I still love you
But when I love you, loving you is all I do
So tonight, I'm having a hard time loving.


I can't take what you won't share
And a burden becomes impossible to bear
When the load never seems to grow lighter

You are brilliant; you're a star
But you're as much of a fool as you think you are
For you never let yourself shine any brighter

We could try as in the past
But with you, progress is one thing that won't last
So tonight, I'm having a hard time trying.


Stop the calendar; stop the clock
Rewind to when we were solid as rock
But I don't believe those days ever existed

Erase the memory; erase the image
Wipe away every thought of your visage
But my lips cannot pretend they never kissed it

I let you in; we're on the outs
And when I think about you, you're all I think about
So tonight, I'm having a hard time thinking.

I needed you; I was reluctant
Now I know why that feeling was repugnant
But tonight, I'm having a hard time caring.

Sunday, March 5, 2017

The Monster Within You

What a fine afternoon together
At least it would be fine if you were
But just when the sky couldn't be any clearer
The clouds begin to darken and thicken

And again, I meet the monster within you
Creating controversy where there is none
Fomenting discord where there should be harmony
And thinking nothing of the implications.

What a beautiful evening for me and you
But beauty is not enough for you to do
And happiness is not enough to see us through
With the time bomb to madness slowly ticking

And again, I meet the monster within you
Attacking me and mine without even trying
Insulting me and mine without even meaning to
And thinking nothing of the consequences.

What a profound love there is between us
Profoundly undeserving of fanfare or fuss
A love in which I just cannot believe or trust
As the growth of my weariness quickens

For again, I meet the monster within you
Babbling nonsensically as if it all makes sense
Dumbed down as if you never had a shred of intellect
Thinking nothing for you've forgotten how to think.

Monday, February 13, 2017

Random Acts Of Self-Destruction

I hurt for all the people who have hurt me
I hurt for all the times I've hurt myself
I hurt because I am hurt; how beautiful the pain
So beautiful, I hurt myself again.

I bleed for all the people who have wounded me
I bleed for all the wounds I couldn't have predicted
I bleed for all the times I could have stopped the wounds from forming
I guess this is not one of those times.

I break myself for all the people who have broken me
The breaks I didn't get, and some of the breaks I did
I break myself because my destiny is to be broken
And I cannot give myself a break.

I put myself together for the people who have shattered me
I put myself together for the damage life has done
As I've been knocked right down, got back up, and fought the good fight
I put myself together just to fall back apart.