Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Running Gag

A runaway slave, an illegal alien, and a terrorist walk into a bar.
The bartender asks, "What'll you guys have?"
The runaway slave says, "Freedom."
The illegal alien says, "Rights."
The terrorist says, "Both."
The bartender replies, "Too bad. We don't serve outlaws."
He asks the militia if they'd like another round.

The runaway slave, the illegal alien, and the terrorist go to another bar.
They settle in at a table.
The server asks them to leave.
"We can't," the terrorist protests. "We were about to order a bottle of your finest."
The server looks at the runaway slave. "You want the finest...before we execute you?"
She looks at the illegal alien. "You'd steal it like you stole our jobs."
She looks at the terrorist. "You'd make a bomb out of the bottle."
In comes a group of rowdy hockey fans.
The server asks the slave, the illegal, and the terrorist, "Please vacate this table so we can accommodate these lovely gentlemen."

My Black brother, my Latino brother, and I go to yet another bar.
Our White brother the bartender greets us with a "What's up?"
My Black brother orders freedom.
My Latino brother orders rights.
I order both.
The bartender replies, "Coming right up!"
He pours himself a shot of love when his boss isn't looking.
"Brothers," he says, "a toast."
And we don't know why, but we clink glasses with him.
We don't know why...but then again, we do.

The following night, a runaway slave, an illegal alien, and a terrorist walk into a bar...

How Convenient

He doesn't post the pictures online
Except the ones which look "just friendly."
And he identifies him as his "friend"
Lest his relatives back home find out he's that way...

She doesn't give away too much
When her boss asks what she did this weekend.
"I went out," she says.
When asked with whom, she replies, "A friend."
For if she says, "My girlfriend," she's gained a lover -- but lost a job.
And the law is just fine with that.

The law is just fine with both of them being out on their asses
For being that way.

He meets him for a concert.
She meets her for dinner.
But he doesn't dance with him
And she doesn't hold her hand.
No need to tempt the bashers
So they stay bashful
To avoid being bashed.

What they do behind closed doors is nobody's business...
That is to say, nobody needs to hear about it.
Nobody wants to hear about it.
What they do behind closed doors is nobody's business
So they do it behind closed doors.

He lays his tired body on the mattress.
She lays her weariness beside his.
And once again, they resign themselves to the ruse they perpetrate
And perpetuate
To please his boss' old-fashioned tastes
To suit her company's traditional image
To put their landlord's narrow mind at ease.
"Goodnight, husband," she chuckles.
"Goodnight, wife," he sneers.

How convenient.

Wish I Never

Never thought that I would find
I'd rather not keep you in mind

Never thought that I would choose
Your admiration to lose

Never thought about the pain
That loving you would leave my brain

Never thought I'd consider you
Someone I wish I never knew.

Nobody else has made me weep
So much for love too spoiled to keep

Nobody else has made me cry
So much for love that could not fly

Nobody else has left me longing
So much for love with no belonging

Nobody else as much as you
Someone I wish I never knew.

I did not see and could not know
To what extent we could not grow

Together, we were matched supremely
But still, a pairing most unseemly

I could have failed, you could have tried
But I tried, you failed by and by

Like storm clouds in a sky of blue
Someone I wish I never knew.

The years have passed, the time has gone
The dark has brought many new dawns

But to this day, you've been my downfall
A square hole trying to fit a round ball

A sweet tooth trying to taste a spicy treat
An herbivore trying to taste meat

A hammer trying to twist a screw
Someone I wish I never knew.