Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Hard Time Caring

I could let you know how I am
But part of me hopes you don't give a damn
For I'm so much happier without you here

I could ask you how you're doing
You might think my concern is moving
Never knowing that this time, it's insincere

When I care, I know you're touched
But when I care about you, I care too much
So tonight, I'm having a hard time caring.

We could meet at our favorite place
Which would normally put a smile on my face
But I'd rather catch up with a long-lost friend

You could take me to a show
Just tell me which one and I would go
But I'd rather be alone than see you again

On some level, I still love you
But when I love you, loving you is all I do
So tonight, I'm having a hard time loving.

I can't take what you won't share
And a burden becomes impossible to bear
When the load never seems to grow lighter

You are brilliant; you're a star
But you're as much of a fool as you think you are
For you never let yourself shine any brighter

We could try as in the past
But with you, progress is one thing that won't last
So tonight, I'm having a hard time trying.

Stop the calendar; stop the clock
Rewind to when we were solid as rock
But I don't believe those days ever existed

Erase the memory; erase the image
Wipe away every thought of your visage
But my lips cannot pretend they never kissed it

I let you in; we're on the outs
And when I think about you, you're all I think about
So tonight, I'm having a hard time thinking.

I needed you; I was reluctant
Now I know why that feeling was repugnant
But tonight, I'm having a hard time caring.