A Man Is Not A Man

A man is not a man unless he's conquered all the world

Unless he's a man of great experience in every place, with every girl

 

A man is not a man unless he's solid as a rock

When the going gets tough, he's the toughest on the block

 

A man is not a man if he shows that he is worried

If he shows that he is troubled, he must hide it in a hurry

 

A man is not a man unless he's steadfastly aggressive
Unless he owns every room, and he's unfailingly possessive

 

A man is not a man unless his riches can't be counted

Unless his money flows like water and his wealth cannot be doubted

 

A man is not a man unless he always stands alone
If he loses independence, he might as well not be grown

A man is not a man unless he's ahead of all other men

Unless he towers above the competition who used to be his friends

 

A man is not a man if his body is not the strongest
Though he may get a free pass if his penis is the longest

 

A man is not a man unless he drinks the hardest liquor

And when he sees a lovely woman, all he wants to do is dick her

 

A man is not a man unless a woman is an object
And every woman that he loves has got to be no less than perfect

 

Well, my friend, if that's a man
Then I have disappointing news

 

You see, I am not a man --

For that matter, nor are you.